The un-friend.

I was glancing at Facebook earlier and noticed that someone was no longer my friend.

I could understand if this was someone I’d randomly added and never talked to in person … a date that never materialized; a possible roommate who didn’t work out. I’ve done that before.

However, this guy was someone I’d had classes with, worked very closely with on projects, and hung out with at department events (some of which were casual parties at a local bar). We have a huge circle of friends in common. It was never like we were best friends, but we were both busy. I’ve also had a crush on him back and forth for the better part of two years, but that’s beside the point.My lame attempts at flirting with him fell flat. We are probably far too similar to maintain a successful relationship.

So even though I had decided I was “over him” about 50 times, I still thought we at least fit the Facebook definition of “friends.”

It’s not even because he decided to make his profile more private – I can still see every drunk-ass pic he’s posted.

You need someone’s permission to become friends on Facebook. Yet the site doesn’t notify you when someone cuts you. It could be months, or never, before the person realizes … or it could be when you embarrasingly decide you want to be friends or contact them again for some reason. Why, when you can use Facebook’s settings to hide a person’s posts, when you can make it so they can see only what you choose, why would you risk burning a bridge by un-friending someone?

And why, when I have 368 other friends, does losing one hurt so much?

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