I didn’t even know anyone used the term “straight-edge” anymore. What are we, back in the days of livejournaling our high school drama? But apparently someone still uses it, or at least hasn’t updated their Facebook account to this decade.
I’ve seen this boy around before. I’ve never really “met” him. But today he mentioned he remembered me from before, I felt a bit of a flirty vibe … and I got my crush on. And in the capacity I was working in today, it would have been completely inappropriate to do what I fantasized about doing…. although, it would certainly be legal and ethical to date him otherwise…. it just wouldn’t have been appropriate to come on to him right then and there.
My hopes were raised when I saw he didn’t list who he was interested in (men/women) on Facebook. That’s usually a red flag.
However, I continued to read and saw he was a member of several Christian-oriented groups, and a group for the “straight-edge.”
Now, there are some people who can reconcile their queerness with Christian religious beliefs. I’m not opposed to that. But I think the vast majority of the time, the people who delve into that mindset are attempting to de-gay themselves by embracing the craziest of Christians. They feel they can or should be abstinant because the love they really want is even further removed from what’s deemed acceptable as hetero sex.
Many are also just abandoned by society. They are searching desperately for some answer that gives them hope. I know; I was this way for a while. I had been raised in the Church, attented a religious school, and even sung in the choir. For a year or two I became obsessed with contemporary Christian music. I sought the answers there, and I didn’t find them. I also haven’t believed in any of their teachings for years, if I ever really did.
So… this boy is a fan of Leighton Meester. He reads Nicholas Sparks. He wears hats (and not of the baseball cap variety). He expressed a somewhat-joking desire to work at Bath & Body Works.
It’s really frustrating when these guys have SO many homo tendencies, yet they won’t come out. I’m not saying he’s gay. My best guess is, like me, like 80% of the world, he’s bi.
The other thing is… even if I could definitively find out he likes boys, even if I could find a way to make him fall in crush with me… even if we could be okay with having different religious views…. he’s probably still too straight-edge for me. Where’s the fun without the drinks and the sex?