Were you ever mid-coitus, sitting and hoping it would be over soon? Have you ever told a little white lie that something made you cum when really, it made you want to scream “stop” and give the dude a lesson? Maybe you have actually yelled at your bedmate and told him he was up to things all wrong – if so, you’re less polite than me (and that’s probably a good thing).
There’s a little urban legend out there that all sex is good, even when it’s only mediocre.
Obviously, anything non-consensual (rape) is not good. Many times we are pressured not into sex in general, but into specific acts. Just because you’re up for a hug doesn’t mean you want it in the butt. And we need to stop defining sex so strictly, as in, assuming that everyone who is gay lives for anal sex (we all don’t).
But beyond that, sex can be unpleasant. For oral sex, one word will bring this to mind: teeth. Maybe you thought you were getting Hugh Grant and ended up with Hugh Hefner. Or perhaps you just really had to use the toilet in the middle of a long night of passion. There’s plenty of reasons that will take the fun out of “fun.”
So, I’m beginning this occasional series that will act as a guidebook to my future beaus. Maybe if I reach enough of you readers, the ideas will catch on and it will be more likely I’ll be able to find the frog of my dreams.
Note that this is “Sex With ME 101″ – Sex With Billy 101 might be like economics while Sex With Suzie 101 might be more like history, and Sex With Kenny 101 might be more like home ec. Everyone’s different. The point is that somehow we need to break out of our puritanical shells and learn how and when to speak up about sex. (And hey, if my tips sound good to you, feel free to borrow for your personal course.)
I’ll probably post most of the tips via Twitter, which you can see on the right side of this page or by visiting http://twitter.com/virginrocks. The first ones should be up now! Occasionally, I’ll expand on them with a longer blog post.