If you…

This is a work in progress…..

If you’re posting in the “M for M” section: you’re not straight – you’re either gay or bi. Stop being a dumbass and say it.

If you’re married and looking for some action on the side: Don’t be a cheater. Tell your wife. Either she’ll be cool with it… or else your marriage probably sucks anyway so you might as well end it. There are plenty of guys AND girls out there who have no qualms with polyamoury, find one (or ten) of them.

If you’re more than 10 years older or younger than me: we probably don’t have that much in common. Yes, age is just a number, but the May-December romance sticks out for a reason. The “Girls Next Door” all left Hugh Hefner once they got big enough. If I happen to stretch my age limits or standards because I’m horny, I probably won’t return your calls.

If I’m not your type: I’d appreciate a chance to meet and change your mind, but if we meet and you’re not into it, just politely say so and leave. Don’t be too specific (“I was expecting someone slimmer”). We’re all fine the way we are, and someone will be into us even if you aren’t. That said, sometimes a picture’s worth a thousand words. If I’m just not into you, nothing’s going to change my mind.

If your first question is top or bottom: don’t be surprised if I say neither. Not everyone likes anal sex, and not everyone likes being labeled.

If you obviously didn’t pay attention to my ad: don’t be shocked when I don’t pay attention to your response.

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