What not to do on a first date.

I just walked home from the bar. I have walked further, while more drunk, but still. I sometimes wonder where my sanity went.

The guy I’ve been talking to for a few days texted me earlier, saying he was going to a party but didn’t want to stay at the bar all night, and asked me what I was doing. I said I had no plans, asked what he had in mind, he said he wasn’t sure. We talked a bit more. Then I said to let me know when he was going to leave; instead, he asked me to come down.

Here’s where all my rules went out the window.

I thought it would be awkward to meet him for the first time when surrounded by a bunch of his friends that I didn’t know, and I said so.

He assured me multiple times it would be okay.

So I break down and take the bus in. Text him when I get outside the bar. I go in and start looking for him, and apparently I walked in amidst a fight scene. I mean seriously, drama of Shakespearean proportions. I interrupt (not knowing what’s going on) and some people storm off.

He proceeds to introduce me to his friends, who ultimately appear to think his behavor’s almost as bad as I do, even if they wouldn’t say it.

He ignores me for half the night, and apologizes, flirts, and gropes me for the other half.

He’s already way more drunk when I got there than when I left after 3 beers… and while I’m there he had about 2 beers, 3 random shots, 10 jello shots, and 4 cigarettes. Or actually it was 9 jellos; he completely missed his mouth and spilled one on his friend’s chair. Then proceded to walk away while they were left to clean it up.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for dirty drunken fun when you are with friends… but a first date? One that’s not really a date and not really a hookup either, but you’re trying to get into my pants (and actually do, with your hand finding its way into my zipper?) And in a public bar? (granted, an urban gay bar where the twink carrying the jello shots was in his underwear and occasionally got carried around like a baby by one of the other bartenders.)

Now I’m not sure how I feel. He seemed too immature for me, even though he’s actually a couple years older. It was not the best circumstances. I kind of like him in a weird way, but more as a friend to flirt with than boyfriend material. And I don’t know that I’m particularly attracted to him, there just wasn’t a spark. I saw at least three other boys, and a another boy in drag, who I think are hotter.

One of my friends has been telling me I should start seeing girls since I haven’t had any luck with guys. (Hint: It doesn’t work that way even for bisexuals. You can’t help who you’re attracted to, and being attracted to some girls and some guys doesn’t make the dating pool any larger or easier.)

For about five seconds I thought, “Maybe she’s right.” I had an instant crush on one of his (female) friends. But of course, she’s taken. (Oddly though, her A&F-clad boyfriend looks gayer than I do.)

I should have left earlier so I’d make the last bus, but part of me wanted to stay. So after 3 beers, I walked home.


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