Paper or plastic?

I don’t know what to do.

He had contacted me out of the blue. We haven’t seen each other since right around the time I started grad school, but we’ve talked very briefly a few times since.

He said he wanted to take me on a date. Well, we kept rescheduling (half his fault, half mine). I say he has to plan the date since he asked me; he says to watch a movie at my place (which I know is a mistake). Well we made plans for last night, and then I don’t hear from him, and when I text him around 7, he basically says he’ll come over on his way to a party that he has to be at by 11, so do I want him to come over now. Given that we wasted time texting and he has a half hour drive, that gives about 2 hours.

So I say, “whenever is fine”. I’m obviously pissed, because this is how he treats every date so far – as an errand running trip. On our first date we met and I had him drop me off at a friend’s when we were done (because it was a matter of convenience; however, I had no timetable). The second date, we went shopping for books and hair dye, because that’s what he needed to do. And guess what he did last night – made us go to the grocery store as soon as he got here.

Even though I was annoyed, I didn’t say anything. He somehow picked up on it though, asked me what was wrong, and when I said “nothing,” said I was lying. Yes, I was lying because I know I’m stupid for expecting anything more from him.

Well he came, we went to the store, we watched part of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” he spent half the time texting (his boss, although it was presumably a personal matter and not work-related). Then he left for the party, later than he originally said, but before the movie was over.

And we messed around. The thing is, it wasn’t that good. He isn’t a great kisser, and he bit me way too hard. Now, there’s nothing wrong with a little playful biting, but when it’s more painful than getting a peircing there is a slight problem. He didn’t force himself on me, and we didn’t go “all the way,” but we moved faster than I was comfortable with. We got naked but neither of us came. Okay, it was nice to just be in proximity with someone… but it was just not good sex.

The dilemma is, some masochistic part of me likes talking to him. We’re political and philosophical oppposites, yet it was fun to debate things. But we also appear to be sexual opposites and social opposites. I don’t think I can stand any more “dates.” I don’t know if we have enough common ground to maintain a friendship. But I also don’t know if I can just cut him completely out of my life, especially when I don’t have anyone I’m more comfortable with within reach.

And I’m not picky, but dammnit just once I would like a date that isn’t a shopping trip.


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