Pansexual, Polyamorous, and Genderqueer

These terms may mean something slightly different to each person, but here’s what they mean to me. I use these terms to identify myself, but they are just parts of my identity, not the entirety of my being.

I am pansexual because I find myself sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to persons of all genders (I believe that there are more than two genders, and I believe that the differences are gradual rather than a black-and-white distinction.) I sometimes say that I am “bisexual” since more people are familiar with that term, and for simplicity. I also am sexually attracted more often to guys, so I don’t mind the term “gay,” and I’ll use it in certain situations. But pansexual feels the most honest and complete, for me.

I am polyamorous because I believe that it is possible to love two or more people equally. I believe poly relationships can work, and that monogamy or serial monogamy isn’t the right solution for everyone. I’ve had one threesome, and though it was short term, it was fun. I haven’t had the opportunity to have a long-term poly relationship yet. While it isn’t a must, and I would certainly consider monogamous relationships if the right person came along, I really feel that a partly-open or a poly relationship suits me best and is ideal.

I am genderqueer because I feel more masculine at times and more feminine at others. I have no current desire to have surgery or take hormones, and I don’t want to permanently “lose” or change parts of my body. However, if there was a magic spell that could switch me between sexes at will, I would use it in a heartbeat (and often). As it is, I’m simply too lazy to go through the grooming rituals to be a “drag queen” and I’m too shy to be a performer. I don’t agree with society’s definitions of sex, gender, gender roles, and gender stereotypes. I consider myself transgender (and strongly support the trans community) even though I’m not currently persuing changes to my body. After all, gender is between the ears (not between the legs).


2 thoughts on “Pansexual, Polyamorous, and Genderqueer

  1. Oh my god u cannot believe how inspired i am by u. I myself am a polyamorous pansexual but have actually encountered alot of hate cuz of it. I actually began to feel very alone till i saw your post, i just wish i could actually know who u are, but just so u know, although i dont know u, i love u, ty for being u

    • virginrocks says:

      Thanks very much for your comment. I’m glad to know this blog has helped you, at least in a small way.

      I wish there was less hate in the world, and I wish that everyone could be comfortable being their true self both online and in “real life.” Unfortunately, there are a number of reasons why I will remain anonymous on this blog… and am not comfortable giving out personal information yet.

      If you’d like to talk more, you can email me at (this is a temporary email address that should forward to me, but will expire soon) or else leave a reply letting me know how I can contact you … and we can perhaps chat more, anonymously for now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: